I want to write a super celebratory post. I really do. But I can’t. I still have a reflection paper that needs finishing. I have another presentation on the 29th. But technically… Tonight was the last time I will be on the St. Kate’s campus as a student. Tomorrow I’ll celebrate with my cohort and our guests. I should feel light and carefree. But I’m not quite there.
Instead I’m worried about what I’ve accomplished in the last two years. Despite this accomplishment, I am more nervous for the next year. I have so many wonderful and accomplished friends, and I need a little help stoping the comparison game.
She Reads Truth gave me another great post this week, and the best line that I need to keep repeating.
Faith and Trust over Fear and Control.
I have been repeating Faith and Trust most of the summer. Anytime I find myself worrying about something I write on a sticky note “faith and trust” and maybe a few things that I need to get done over the next few days. Now I need to add on to the sentence. I don’t have too many fears, but I LOVE control. My manager at work can attest to that, my family can attest to that, anyone who’s travelled with me has seen that. I wish I could be easy breezy, but it is just not my way.
So with the free time I’m about to have, I’m going to put faith and trust over fear and control, and try my best to find the light.
And if you managed to read all of this, thank you.
And if you only read the first few lines and then judged me for putting this on the internet….Well…..that’s your choice. And I don’t have control over what you think.
I’ve tried my best to schedule good things lately. But every moment cannot be scheduled. And even within a schedule, I have very little control. All I can do is roll with the punches and do my best to keep up. So Saturday I scheduled a pedicure/manicure for 1 pm, and went with the flow the rest of the day. I was able to enjoy a doughscuit and coffee for breakfast at Mucci’s, where I saw this little star on the ground.
And I think it gave me the light I needed. To see what happens, and find something good along the way. After my pedicure I stopped by a Broken Clock Brewery. I LOVED their lavender IPA, and will definitely be visiting in the fall when their Pecan Brown Ale is released. (although that might not be the official name). Then a friend and I walked around Lake Harriet before visiting Sonny’s Ice Cream. I’ve probably passed the place 20 times in the last two years but had never stopped, and will definitely need to go again!
Doughscuit, Beer, Ice Cream. It was a good day. Sunday included brunch, visiting the Irish Fair, and yoga. Of course there was some required dish washing, and a final reflection paper I still need to complete, but overall a solid weekend.
Here’s hoping there is more unexpected light in my future!
Wednesday night is nothing like Sunday morning. I’m the boss of this blog, and I had given myself permission to completely skip the “joy” post this week. Anything I would have attempted to post on Sunday would have been a lie. All last week was a struggle. The weekend was a little better, but I’m not at 100%.
Thankfully I’ve got the greatest friends and family. Who I can text out of the blue, and even if we can’t be together, I can feel supported. Just as I expected my calendar is starting to open up, and now its even more about finding a balance in activities. I could schedule dinner or drinks every single night. But that wouldn’t be great for my budget or my body.
Instead I need to keep working on my goals. Which are….unclear. There’s no magical job title that will make me happy. There is no dress size that guarantees success.
Not everything will work. I just have to keep trying new things.
One day into the month of August and I am struggling. July was crazy busy, I was all over the place but did my best to fit everything in and have a good time. I used to have monthly goals and monthly recaps. The past two years have been more about doing the best I can with what I have. I will never be the spontaneous sort. But I admire those people. As much as I like to control my schedule, there’s nothing wrong with a good surprise.
The sunrise on Monday was a great surprise. I hope that August can give me a few surprises. Right now I have a seemingly never-ending MBA capstone project, and the greatest desire to just disappear for a week and reappear with my life organized and new. There is no way I will get that good of a surprise, but I’m hopeful that the stress I’ve felt the last few days will have lessened by September.
I have no idea what will happen in the next month, or year, or even the rest of this week.
All I can do is my best, be hopeful, and find the good.
I cannot believe July is basically over. How did that happen? Wasn’t the 4th two weeks ago? I didn’t intend on driving north this weekend. But when I started thinking about the things I could do in the twin cities, I realized I just wanted to get away.
I’ve realized something about myself lately. I value hard work. Its not so much the job title but the work ethic. Doing your best. Pushing through and getting the job done.
But as much as I want things to look good, I have given up on perfect. I had an exit exam for the MBA, you had to complete it in order to graduate. It’s complete, but it was not perfect. I’m working through the capstone process. I am doing my best, but it is not perfect. My group is amazing, and if I gained nothing else in 2 years, I’ve gained some amazing friends.
Sometimes the work feels hard, sometimes the work comes easy, but there will always be work. I will never sit around thinking that everything is just as it should be. But I always need to acknowledge when the work has been completed.
I will never be perfect. I can only try to be good. I can only do my best. I will not always win, but no one always wins. So here’s to one more month of the MBA life, and to an uncertain future, where all I can do is try.
Do you strive for perfection?
Summer has been pretty good to me so far. While I haven’t spent much time up north at the lake I grew up on, I have spent quite a bit of time on the river. It has been a fun change, but it means that I’m 90 minutes away from my grandparents church instead of the easy 30 minutes away I usually am.
Living Wholeheartedly Today
Thankfully I have a few blogs that I love for inspiration. She Reads Truth is a website I’ve written about before, but lately I’ve added (in)courage to the list and the writing is just as wonderful. Check out these posts if you are feeling the need for a little encouragement.
I am still the only 20 something at the church, I’m even the only 30 something (I think, there are some mom’s who might be in their 30s still) although they are married with 3 kids, so we don’t interact all that often. The time I spend in the church is worth it. I’m with my family, hearing God’s word, and typically releasing a little of the stress that seems to be hanging around.
I may not be at church every week, but that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about my faith.
What are your thoughts on faith? Does it play a role in your life?
A day late to posting because I was without my computer all weekend. It was good to get away and unplug a bit. Although I made the mistake of assuming my tan was strong enough to not get sunburned, and I was wrong. Coming soon, a post about Coolibar and their amazing sun protective clothing (which I wish I had packed).
I’ve met a lot of new people lately, and I’m pretty good chatting with people I don’t know very well. But its also nice to be in a small group and just relax.
The fun thing about meeting someone new is when you think you’ve got things figured out, and then you get surprised again. But when you are with a new person and in a new space, you have no idea what is going to come. So you pack for everything, go with the flow, and make the best of the time you have.
Do you like checking out new places and meeting new people?
Or do you prefer the familiar faces and places?
I’m so close to have quite a bit more time on my hands, and I’ve got big ideas for all the things I’m going to accomplish once my MBA is complete. First and foremost, having a more dedicated workout schedule. For the past two years I’ve done what I can when I can, and it is nowhere near what I used to be able to accomplish.
So I’ve got options going forward. I’ve been a loyal Corepower Yoga customer, even taking their Yoga Sculpt teacher training and teaching for almost 3 years. I’ve done a couple Orange Theory classes and loved them, and they finally have an Eagan location close to work. Finally, Alchemy announced a St. Paul location starting in September. For those not familiar, this is a Minneapolis based company. They originated downtown, and I’ve taken a few classes there, then they added NorthEast, then Edina, and now they are finally crossing the river.
Pricing wise all the classes are similar, Alchemy is the most strength focused (Similar to crossfit, but not crossfit). Orange Theory is running, rowing, and strength, whereas at Corepower is either straight up yoga, or yoga sculpt.
I feel like I should do an unlimited pass to one of them and really force myself to get there, because none of them come cheap! I’m in need of a serious reboot and cannot wait until I have more energy to devote to exercise.
Does anyone have thoughts or suggestions?
Heat is not my favorite. I love a good sunny and 75, but 80s or hotter better include shade and a cool breeze. I don’t want to be always hiding in the air conditioning, so I try to get some outside time in the evenings. If that outside time also includes relaxing over dinner, even better!
While I originally had other dinner plans, Redcow felt like a better choice for the night. Great food, close to my apartment, and fairly low key. After a week of hustle and bustle it felt good to sit and relax. No important conversations, just enjoying the evening.
I’m a planner. I would love to have every weekend in August planned out. I’d make sure to have a good mix of activities and friends. Instead I’ve got labor day weekend planned. Everything else for now I will take as it comes. (other than I just opened a new tab to check out the St. Paul Saints Calendar, because I really want to make it to a game this year).
What type of weather do you enjoy the most?
So close to the end of the MBA program, yet so far. This week I double booked a couple of different nights. and it all ended up working out. But I really cannot wait for Thursday night when I have no plans. (other than catching up on what I’ve neglected earlier in the week.)
Monday morning I an 8 am school meeting, before working 10-7, before attending a happy hour that started an hour before I could arrive.
Tuesday morning I set my alarm for 5:30 am in the hopes of working out. But no such luck, my eyes would not open. I put in my 8 hours of work before heading to class.
Today I thankfully have dinner plans with a friend and it will be so great to catch up.
Thursday as I mentioned is just work. (and hopefully a run afterwards).
Friday I’ll be working of course (this full 5 day week is going to be a little painful) and then I’m finally checking out Burch!
I like being busy, but I am so ready for a whole week where I don’t have plans. I love the fall so I’m sure September and October will be just as busy as July and August, but it will be things I want to do, and hopefully not double booking.