Chance Chat #34: Relationship Calendars

Whew. While I’m writing this prior to Sunday morning, I’m already wondering what Sunday morning will bring. My dear college friends are getting married, and the ceremony and reception will be on campus. The college itself hasn’t changed in huge ways, but my personal changes have been tremendous.

Relationship Calendars

So many things in life are dependent on following a calendar. Yet when it comes to relationships, the calendar is thrown out the window. I know plenty of couples who have had their babies before getting married, and plenty of couples who choose to date for a decade before tying the knot. I have no idea when my soul will be ready to be with another. I like that think that I am ready, but I also believe that I’m waiting for my next relationship for a reason. Whoever that man is, he must be busy accomplishing things before we find each other. Or, maybe its that I know the person, and it isn’t the right time. Either way, I need to trust that my soul will know when the timing is right. Scheduling the time will only force a situation that isn’t supposed to happen.

How long have you and your significant other been together? Do you feel that there is a “right” amount of time to be single between relationships?

5 thoughts on “Chance Chat #34: Relationship Calendars

  1. That is always a tough/tricky question for me to ask because Phil and I were not technically together when I was in Charlotte as I did not know how long I would be there… but neither of us dated and we kept in touch and did not move on emotionally… So we’ve been in each other’s lives for almost 3 years, but I kind of don’t count the pre-Charlotte/Charlotte time in our dating history because our time together before I found out about my move was so brief (3 months) and life was turned upside down after that… But we’ve been back together for about 15 months (which has flown by!). So the short answer I would tell someone that didn’t know me well is 15 months but really we’ve been in each other’s lives longer.

    As far as time before relationships go, I had LONG spells where I did absolutely no dating. I actually was just talking about that with Phil on our drive to my parents lake home on Friday. When I met him, I hadn’t dated anyone for a good 18 months. I just did not feel like dating during that time and kind of worked on me. So if you aren’t feeling drawn to dating right now, don’t put pressure on yourself. Sometimes it’s good to take a break so that you can return to dating when you are really ready!

    • I’d say right now is the closest I’ve been to “dating” of course chivalry is basically dead, but there are a few guy friends that I hang out with occasionally. I haven’t really successfully dated someone I didn’t know for years beforehand, so if it ends up that I do “fall in love with a stranger” I’ll be pretty surprised.

  2. So I wrote this great comment and my computer froze 🙂 Your soul will know when it is right. I’ve dated, took breaks, was in relationships had fun.. did it all. When I met him I was right where I needed to be with myself. Meeting my goals, enjoying things I liked, trying new things…. and then met him when I least expected it.

    • Well I still think this comment is pretty great!! I have plenty of faith that it will all work out when it is supposed to, but sometimes keeping the faith is a little challenging. Thankfully I have amazing women such as yourself as reminders!

  3. Yeah those questions are something that can’t really be answered by anyone except YOU. Although people will definitely try to tell you otherwise. 😉

    Honestly, I met Dave when I was done with guys and just ready to be single for awhile. It’s easier said than done to put yourself in that mindset though!

    Just remember there are many good things about NOT being in a relationship. You have tons more time to do what YOU want to do and you also tend to have more time to hang out with friends. Also you don’t see any dirty clothes on the floor other than your own. 😉

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