Friends can be a tricky thing. People change, so naturally friendships change. A few months ago I had a brunch where I invited various people from my life, some of them had met before, some hadn’t, and it was fun to see them interacting. But I really am happiest when I separate the different groups. I’m able to focus on the conversation and not worried about filling in the information gaps.
These women have known me for over twenty years. Which almost shouldn’t be possible. We know entire chapters of our lives that coworkers, college friends, and sometimes spouses will never know. Because they weren’t there. They didn’t live it with us. We can tell every story, but its not quite the same.
Life is not idyllic. Do not let this long standing friendship become a fairytale. There have been hard times and hurt feelings. We survived middle school. It is not a thriving situation. But we’ve come out the other side of high school, college, and we are all at slightly different points in our relationships and careers. Now is the uncharted territory. Where you want to compare, but no comparison is quite equal.
Instead of comparing, lets celebrate each other. Wherever we are. For surviving the hard work situation, losing the family member, or battling the toddler. Everyone is out there fighting their own fight, don’t be another thing to fight, be the celebration.
How long have you known your friends?
How do you stop the comparison trap?
Things can happen so quickly, and there have been so many sad situations lately. Sometimes you need to slow down. Appreciate where you are and what is around you.
Yesterday I went a friend for a run…it was mostly a walk. Which was good. It was 5 miles. After that I went home, my mom and I got an hour on the paddle boards. Then I was off to a grad party, seeing old friends and being amazed that 10 years ago it was my grad party year, and somehow these kiddos are all grown up. After some time with a good friend catching up and commiserating the struggles of dating, I was off to meet a new friend.
Somehow I managed to pack in 5 things to a normal Saturday. When I shared that over a beer I may have scared the listener. My schedule is intense. I don’t always enjoy it. But what of those 5 things would I have wanted to cut out? None of them.
So for now the craziness continues, but don’t for a minute think that every day is that crazy. Today my only plan is to be at home, there’s a few things that I’ll work on, but I got all my socializing in yesterday.
I need to learn to take my own advice and slow down, which is what today is for.
What is your pace today? Fast and full? Or slow and sweet?
Grandma’s Marathon Weekend is almost here!!! ….and I am not there…. And so last weekend I joined the tradition of those since 2001 who meet at the Northland Arboretum and run the Sour Grapes course.
I haven’t been running more than 3 miles for a while, especially not on trails. But thankfully I’ve done a few runs out in the arb, so I knew some of what I was in for. I woke up early Saturday morning and headed to Brainerd. Parking and packet pickup was a breeze. I brought my phone along since I didn’t know anyone else running and listened to my current favorite songs.
Without people to chat with I felt a few extra nerves before we started. I’ve bought new shoes but wore my old ones since I knew I was going to be on mixed ground. I kind of forgot that these shoes give me blisters…. As we started the race I was holding a decent pace, and ran farther than usual before taking a walking break. The miles felt long with all the hills and turns, but it was the 2nd half of the race that really got me. I was no longer happy to be out there and pushing myself, I just wanted to be done.
And all the way over on the right you can see that I did finish. The medal is a thin cord with a wooden emblem. I like how clearly different it is because this year is clearly different for me. Its hard to believe that 5 years ago I started running, since then I’ve completed multiple half marathons, a marathon, a duathlon, multiple triathlons, and traveled to Disney World. I’ve got my eye on the Disneyland Tinkerbell Half, but that might have to wait until 2018 (which would be right after I turn 30, weird.)
Are you currently training for something? I cannot say enough good things about training for a 5k, its how it all started for me, and I never imagined it would get here.
Last year I was great about getting out and getting on my bike. I was also unemployed and had plenty of extra time. This year my free time is limited, and the photo below is proof that I’ve ridden…once.
On Memorial Day the Lakes Area Multisport group does a 50 mile ride split into two 25 mile loops. I opted to sleep in a bit and only ride the 2nd loop. But I was nervous to even do that much. My great friend pictured above was also riding, so I bit the bullet and peddled. It was just fine. My legs weren’t thrilled with the hills, but I could still get over them.
So now I just need to keep it up. I haven’t mapped out my summer very well, but I’m hoping to do the Lakes Triathlon in Brainerd at the end of August. I won’t set any records, or even win an age group, but keeping the wheels moving is just as fun.
Do you hold yourself to prior accomplishment levels? Or do you just accept where you currently are?
I’m not usually a monthly goals person, but I’m making the exception this month. My MBA program has me taking class twice a week, Monday and Thursday nights from 6-9, which means my week night free time is limited, and my weekend homework time is expanded. (although thankfully I don’t have accounting anymore!)
Tuesdays: I typically work a late shift, so I either need to go to yoga at 6 am or 8:30 pm. I’d love to get back to the twice a week yoga goal, but not this month.
Wednesdays: My Free Night! Typically this needs to be homework and healthy cooking night, but there may be an exception or two.
Fridays: Either driving north or…I really need to get to Sea Salt with a work friend.
Lunch Break: Utilized for running/walking twice a week. I’m giving myself a break if I don’t get my 10k steps on nights that I have class, but otherwise I really don’t have an excuse.
Weekends, I wish I could spend every weekend at home, but it just isn’t feasible. So there’s a little divide. I’ll finish out the month by flying to Boise, Idaho for a cousin’s wedding. I fly back on the 4th of July, and I’m having a hard time realizing I won’t be in a Minnesota lake that weekend.
If you tell me not to do something….I’ll either understand the logic behind your request and comply…..or I will realize you don’t know the situation, and I’m going to do what I please. This is the latter.
Someone had the audacity to tell me what I should and should not blog about. Here’s the thing. This space is mine. No one is forcing you to come here. Second of all, if you’re worried about what I will post, realize that I am discreet. While I can be blunt, I’m not intentionally cruel.
In other news, I had deleted tinder and opened a different online dating profile. And then I realized…I don’t have time for this. In June I’ll have class on Mondays and Wednesdays, 6-9. Plus homework. Plus I have a late shift from 10-7 on Tuesdays. So I have Sunday night and Wednesday night for “school nights” in which to get stuff done. Because naturally weekends are pretty much booked. I won’t be giving up those precious nights for dating. I need them for workouts, laundry, and cooking. (And….this might be where I admit how old I am).
So rant over. Disclosure over. I’m going to keep doing what I want, and what I think is best for me. Sometimes that might mean sharing dating stories (and hopefully they won’t all be horror stories) and other times that means not posting because all I’ve done is work, school, and the normal boring stuff everyone else does.
Do you let people tell you what to do? Do you have a space that is all your own?
May was a rollercoaster (and so were March and April) but I’m finally starting to feel like things are leveling off. I saw Johnny a few times this month which really helped to lift my spirits. Since I don’t see him every day anymore suddenly he’s excited to see me. Vs. last year when I lived at home and was just boring old sister.
I loved going to Ignite and Social Media Breakfast, but sometimes its just as beneficial to go to unstructured events….or rather an event structured around oysters!
4Bells did not disappoint! The run around loring park prior to dinner was also wonderful. I bought new running sneakers and am hoping to get in a better habit of running. I was doing okay, until I gave up for a bit, now I need to reinvest the time.
I also managed to go home twice in May, and looks like I might be going home three times in June, but I’m not complaining, I love it when I’m there. Of course this weekend I will be staying in St. Paul, it is Grand Ol’ Days after all!!
What was your highlight of May? Do you already have June all planned out?
If you think this photo is from the weekend, you’d be wrong! While I’ve had a good weekend, I managed to do fun things every night last week! Which is a huge feat considering how my life has been going the last few…months.
Tuesday night I supported a co-worker at a comedy show. Wednesday I had oysters scheduled with friends, and since I was sick of traffic I drove straight there and ran in Loring Park for a hour before. I needed that time to unwind and remind myself how to run…its been awhile. Thursday I met an old friend for dinner, and a stop at Cafe Latte for dessert. Friday I battled the traffic again and made it up north for wine at the Beanery and dinner at the 40 Club.
I was talking to a coworker on Friday and she pointed out that I’ve done fun things all week, and had up north plans for the long weekend. And she was right, and it was weird. And I really need to find more time for fun in my schedule. Of course I say this and my next MBA class in Monday AND Thursday nights… but I really need to focus on the good. The want-to, not just the have-to events.
Do you make specific time for fun? or do you naturally have it in your schedule?
Aitkin, Minnesota is a town of less than 2,000, its a one-stoplight county, with a whole lot of heart. You may remember my post from October, 2015, Aitkin, Always. This weekend the community came together to participate in the Officer’s Down 5k, and it was such a well run event!
I didn’t realize packet pickup was available Saturday morning, so I drove up as quick as I could on Friday, and managed to stop at the 40 Club to say hi to some friends. Saturday morning I was up early to drop my car off for a little maintenance, and then waiting for the run to start.
The 10 am start time meant for some warm weather, which I definitely wasn’t ready for. I gave myself a 45 minute goal (which is not speedy by any means) but I didn’t know if I would want to run the course, or walk and soak it in. I ended up near a triathlon friend, so I chatted with her about her upcoming marathon. It was a great way to distract myself from my lack of training. I ended up finishing in 39 minutes, which felt great. I saw friends at the finish, walked the course backwards to find some others, and then celebrated with lunch, once again at the 40 club!
I love being home, its looking like I’ll be home most weekends in the summer, which I am 100% okay with (although the traffic is another story). Here are a few other posts on Aitkin that I’ve written in the past…
3 Years of Hometown Life and My Own Everafter.
Hi friends, I hope all is well. I’ve got exactly one hour before I have to leave Aitkin again, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I think I’ll be coming up north most of the summer. Mainly because of how good I’ve felt this weekend.
I drove up on Friday night, picked up my race packet (more on that later) and met friends at the bar for a beer. And I really did have one beer, before heading home and going to bed. I spent a couple hours out and about on Saturday before catching up with another friend. And then I went home and sat on the deck. Eventually a friend came over and we watched the moon rise. Which I somehow did realize was something that happened. As it got darker the moon rose higher, and it was so great to be sitting outside chatting, without an agenda.
Are you a sunrise, sunset, or moonrise watcher? I usually sleep with the shades open so I can see the sunrise, but this difference was wonderful!